Life With Bobux
Why Infertility shouldn't be a Taboo
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Our little Clara is a miracle. That is what we call her (or "Trésor", as her French grandfather always say, when he sees her).
Getting pregnant is not a given...I waited for Mr Right for a very long time and I didn't have the courage to become a single parent. When love finally struck, and I moved from Copenhagen to London, my biological clock was ticking - and it was loud. Luckily my boyfriend was ready to become a father and our “making-a-baby" journey began. What I didn't know was, that it was going to be a mental and psychical challenge for both of us.
It turned out, that I was not able to become pregnant normally. The doctor told me, that the only solution was IVF treatment. At that moment, I felt, that I had failed as a woman, and I was heart-broken. It took us some time to learn about IVF treatments and we had a lot people giving us advice, which was sometimes more confusing than helpful. I so wanted a child, and I was afraid it wasn’t going to happen.
We began our IVF journey in a well- known fertility clinic at Harley Street. I have never seen so many anxious women gathered in such a small waiting room - and I didn’t like it one bit. The place was busy and people kept coming in an out carrying big bags of needles, fertility drugs and other necessities to start the “process”. It was a very expensive experience and I did not feel looked after or cared for. It was basically a “baby factory” and I hated every minute, I was there! The vaginal ultrasounds, the daily blood tests, and poking myself with injections was hard but manageable. It was the isolation, that was the worse part. People have no idea, what you are going through. You get emotionally attached to the “idea” of a pregnancy - but there is no way of knowing what the future holds.
The last stage of embryo implantation is the toughest. You pray that it takes and it works. You are told not to take any pregnancy tests… But I did. I think I bought around 20 and when they kept showing negative, I started “hallucinating” that a second line was there - which it wasn’t according to my heartbroken boyfriend
And then the day arrives… The day, where you get the phone call from the clinic. “yes” or “no”. It is either the happiest day of your life or your world has come tumbling down around you! We had a “no” twice and I will never forget it. It was crushing. All of the effort for months and nothing. We had to start from the beginning again.
Our third time, we decided to try something new. So we went to Cyprus to have our next IVF treatment. I was really nervous, but I had read so many amazing things about this particular clinic, who has hopeful women coming for treatments from all over the world. The doctors didn’t speak English, but there were translators taking care of us all of the time - and the whole experience was SO much nicer.
The clinic wasn’t overcrowded and we had our own room after the embryo implantation. We spent a lovely week at a hotel together while having the most important things done (I had the fertility drugs and needles shipped to me in London, so we only had to stay in Cyprus for a week).
It was strange flying back to London not knowing, if I was pregnant or not. The whole process had been surreal - but much better and only half as expensive as in London.
My story has a happy ending - I became pregnant with Clara! For a while, I didn’t believe it would happen. I read about all these poor couples who try over and over again and my heart cries for them. Our little Clara is the best thing, that has ever happened to us - I would do the whole thing over again in a heartbeat to get our daughter, Clara.
Infertility is a complex phenomenon and many issues are involved for the people living with it, as it spans the biological, emotional, physical, social, financial and psychological aspects of lives and relationships. Getting fertility treatment is still a taboo, which it shouldn’t be as secrecy can leave so many people to cope alone, in pain, and often uninformed.
I think the best way for infertility to become less taboo is for more people to share their stories about it. It is not easy to do. But, sharing an infertility journey is courageous and the stories help us to learn, connect and understand. It might be the most powerful tool we have to combat the misunderstanding about this painful topic.
Guest blog by Journalist/ Blogger, Louise.
Award winning blogger/ Journalist. Lives in Kensington/London.
Mother to Clara. UK Blog Awards Finalist 2018 and Judge 2019.
Ambassador Maggie and Rose Family Club. Ambassador Happy
Kids Dental Chelsea.